Lee Swords Fishing

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March Blog part II

March Blog part II


The rise of the super morons 

This is how some people hold a bass…its ok… That is how they do it where this person comes from and it is ok as they are not English/ British and the picture is not for British publication.

… What is not ok is the recent trend for this hold to be used on Perch in Britain.

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That is when we get into the realms of the Super Moron!!!











It is not sexy and it is not cool, it looks extremely uncomfortable for the fish and makes the one holding it look like a complete wanker, yes that’s right, I said it makes the angler doing it  look like a wanker and when I say wanker I actually do mean it. There is no need to do something like this it is a pointless gesture, it isn’t needed.


Or is it that the whole point of it? Do the anglers in question wish to promote an edgy BDSM image within the angling fraternity? is being a normal everyday run of the mill cannot get a girlfriend socially dysfunctional type of wanker not enough for them?

Perhaps the type of person that likes to hold a specimen fish up by its face believes themselves a little more elitist than the average pleabian types within angling and therefore  they may prefer to toss themselves off with a sock full of strawberry yogurt or they may even a use a bread bag full of Vaseline slipped between the bedstead and the mattress so that they can pretend they are doing it doggy fashion with a  real girl…when in fact they are simply having a wank ( into a plastic bag of petroleum jelly).

So come on lads, you are better than this new fashionista bollocks, don’t hold a fish up by its face…it does not look good and will in most likelihoods do permanent damage to the lower jaw, which is not the done thing.


 And for those that think that the “chin hold is the best looking hold here are a few other holds…



And if you have more than one fish to contend with? Well That is easy also…there are loads of poses that can be done without using the lower jaw of the fish as some sort of fulcrum or leverage point….It just looks plain wrong!

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Or is that we need to  believe ? That we are taking the whole thing one step further? We are a little bit radical, a bit out there on the edge?

Well bugger radical! I never saw Terry Lampard ( God rest his soul) holding a perch up by the face so that he could win another Drennan Cup and if Terry didn’t do it then it doesn’t need to be done .End of conversation!

Evil Dead returns!


Ok, what most people do not know is that I love a good horror film, seriously, give me Zombies Dawn of the Dead over Les Miserable any time! I would rather watch something along the lines of  that than watch 24601 drag a boat into a French harbour before getting parole and nicking some candlesticks any day of the week although I will say that I do like the Les Miserable soundtrack and I found Ann Hathaways final song to be truly moving and well deserving of her Oscar.

that said …give me Driller Killer or Ring and a six pack of Stella and I am a happy bunny!


The one thing I generally do not like are remakes, or retelling of what I consider to be horror classics and I certainly do not approve of extreme “foreign horrors” getting the Hollywood makeover, the Japanese version of  ”Ring” is far superior to the American version in every way and did hear a story that Hollywood would be remaking the Martyrs, which is just ludicrous as there isn’t a studio in America that would touch that film with a ten foot pole and not ruin it…


It would have a shamtlzy ending for sure, instead of a .357 magnum through the old hags face (Oh, forget that bit as I don’t want to spoil the film for anyone of a mind to watch  what is in my opinion the most disturbing horror film of a generation.

Yes, you can argue that Frontiers is a  better film ( if you are stupid) or that the Serbian Film is closer to the legality boundary ( it possibly is) or even the Japanese film Freezer has more of a strange buzz about it and French film Ordeal sets new standards but argue all you like, I am going with Martyrs.

Anyway that said I did see that the Film Studios have remade Evil Dead, the first of the generation of “video nasties” that I can remember watching with my younger brother and cousin Joanne, it along with the Exorcist and The Omen had my imagination firing on all cylinders, they went into uncharted territory. The original version of Evil Dead was ground breaking in its day and like Zombies Dawn of the Dead did have me quaking in my boots but having re watched them both many times over the years they have “dated” and dated badly and are now rather amusing rather than scary unlike the Exorcist which is to this day as good a horror film as it ever was and stands up against anything that has been made since.


What I will say about the Evil Dead clip is that it looks not to have been filmed “for laughs” and has a rather nasty edge to it unlike the remake of Zombies Dawn of The dead which should have resulted in the Director and Producers being shot for desecration of a Horror masterpiece.

Anyway I will leave the video nasty theme for now and get back to fishing…I don’t want to go giving people nightmares!

And so here we are, the final few days of the season the weather has settled and the river is coming into fair trim…lets hope we get lucky!!


Oooh before I go!…I was a Sheffield United fan this weekend because they were my team in the “Last Man Standing” tournament at work which is worth £725.00 to the winner so it needs to be taken very seriously and so I will make this statement…

Cheer the Hell up you full time United fans…your team is in the auto promotion places…KEEP THE FAITH!!!

United won 2-0 I had a greasy chip butty to celebrate…it was nice.

5 Responses to “March Blog part II”

  1. I’m with you on the lip hold thing, it looks shit and spoils the picture of a good perch. I got jumped on by many for stating the fact on FB where it seems its full of morons who think it looks cool.

    One or two fingers under the pecs another near the vent smile for the picture and jobs a good un, the other trend of loop lining to hold its dorsal up is a strange carry on too, though that doesn’t excert extra stresses on the fish

  2. I couldn’t agree more..it looks terrible

  3. The welfare of the fish is first not a blaze shot, what about holding pike by the gills, thats just as bad in my limited opinion.

  4. I’ve landed thousands of Large Mouth Bass in my life by grabbing hold of the bottom jaw. LM bass have extremely tough jaws with teeth like sandpaper on the top and bottom, helping you keep a good grip.

    Bass fishing in America these days is virtually all catch and release and the recommended way of landing bass is by gripping the bottom jaw.

    In fact netting the fish is banned on some waters.

  5. Yep…but would you use that grip for a Perch?

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