Lee Swords Fishing

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August “Fishing Blog” proper…no almost… just the real deal!

August already…Where is this year going to?

It is true what they say about time passing faster as you get older, it certainly does! if it carries on at this rate I will barely have enough time to get out fishing! I remember as a lad my 6 week holidays lasting a whole decade, my fortnight in Chapel St Leonards lasting a whole year and a days fishing lasting a week! Time moved in a far more sedate fashion when I had hair on my head and not on my arse, all I can say to the younger generations is ” Enjoy it whilst it lasts ” because one day you will wake up and it will all be over.

I also believe that we are  the architects of this accelerated time phenomenon, people never stop to look at the little things nor wonder at the massive scale of creation. I spent a few hours the other night just looking at the night sky, it was awesome. Meteorites, stars, super novas, constellations and satellites by the score, a black sky with zero cloud cover is one of the truly great spectacles but as the Banded Demoiselle just out of the watersun came up my attention wandered, that was when I began to hunt the mini-beasts A Ringlet?Peacocks

Wasp nest

I love the mini-beast and can spend hours searching for them, some may think that I have gone a little bit mental but I really don’t care. I have kept in tact the wonder I had for these creatures as a child and now use it to entertain myself in the quiet moments Damsel Flybetween the scream of my Delkims Txi alarms…And they do scream from time to time unfortunately I am not always sure what it is that is causing them to scream….Could it be a barbel?

Or will it be a Wels Catfish?

In all honesty most of the time I will have absolutely have no idea because the style of fishing I enjoy is very “inclusive”…but whatever it is I am sure it will put a smile on my face!

So…has everyone seen the big eel?

I was in the newsagents the other day to buy a copy of AnglingTimes . Yes,  I know what I said about the AnglingTimes and I also know what I didn’t say, I did not say that I would never buy a copy of the AT ever again I just said that it wasn’t relevant to my fishing anymore therefore I would no longer be buying it every week regardless of content.

The big eel is certainly a big eel of that there is no doubt…but when compared to the true record eel I have to ask, is this new record eel partly made up of Plutonium or perhaps Osmium?

Because it seems to be very heavy for its size…Not that I am casting aspersionsSo heavy I can hardly lift it!!!

Whilst I was out fishing the other night I myself caught an eel weighing in at over 7lb , this eel had been feeding on small black snails that had in turn been grazing on the algae growing on the “fashionably discarded” leads that festoon the bed of the river Trent…over many years the lead from the discards has built up in the flesh of the eels giving them a very high density.

Look at the picture…I can hardly lift the fooker up!!

That is what I think has happened with the new record eel as reported by the AT …either that or the bloke in AT is taking the piss (just like me) and  is holding up a half dead eel with fungus filled eyes and poor pallor  that he found snaking around the margins of his pond after spending its whole life living the life of a celibate old aunt, he took a chance to get some free publicity…who can blame him??

As for my view on the health of the eel…What the fuck do I know about the condition of fish? I only worked on the fish section at Claridge’s in Londonistan and filleted fish for the Queen (and Bros) and Margaret Thatcher and Ronald Reagan…So how the hell would I know a duff fish when I saw it?

Loads of Eels and lots of fun

There seems to be a little bit of a theme going on in August so far in so much as I am getting a lot of action but the action is not always from the species IMG_1694of fish that I am intending to catch, is this a good thing or a bad thing?Trent Roach I always try to maximise my happy accidents which is probably why my barbel PB is a mere 14lb 1oz, PB Barbel 14lb 1ozI suppose if I were to concentrate my efforts into the capture of a proper whopper it may well be around the 15-16lb mark by now! Then again it may well be 14lb 1oz just as it is now but along the way I would have missed out on so much fun!

This week I have bagged a brace of eels over 3lb whilst out on a zander mission and a bag of roach the biggest of which went to 1lb 11oz…would I have been better blanking than having to suffer such nuisance fish?

Nahhh!!!Eel bag!

Even though the eels were a complete pain in the arse I would n’t have swapped that night for a blank, I work too hard to suffer too many blanks, although that being said I would have swapped one or two of the smaller ones for a zander…they are far easier to deal with when out of water.My Zander PB






Racial Profiling by the Border Control Agency….Really?….

Thank the Lord!!! It’s about time a Government department stopped wasting my money!!!

All the usual left-wing suspects have crawled out of the woodwork on this one, it really does ask the question ” Are these people living on the same planet as everyone else?”

Immigration spot checks on “people of colour” at railway stations and places of work across the country are to be investigated by the equality watchdog for possible unlawful discrimination regardless to the fact that a Home Office spokesman confirmed there were a total of 160 arrests, 21 of which were at stations in London, this follows reported complaints that the checks targeted people based on ethnicity….uk border

Well I would have hated for them to be carried out on “size and shape” or even “hair colour”

Can you imagine how that conversation would have panned out?

” Excuse me sir, my name is officer Smith and I work for the Immigration Service, would you mind if I asked you a few questions?”

” Err, no sure”

” When did you arrive in the UK and do you have the relevant paperwork that allows you to be here in this country legally?”

” Pardon?”

” Please sir, don’t play stupid with me now…I know you speak English, or is it that you genuinely don’t understand the question in which case we will provide a taxpayer funded translator…Urdu, Punjabi, Pashtu, Swahili?”

” I am British…I speak perfectly good English mate”

“Good for you!!!…Language is the key to integration….So, let’s carry on…Do you have the correct paperwork to allow you to live and work in the UK?”

” I am British”

” But your also rather fat Sir, so please don’t waste my time, just answer the question so that the social demographic of my stop and search is balanced and fair”

” But Like I have just said to you…I am British”

” That is by-the by, would you have me just harass the foreign looking ones? You know, the ones that seem to enjoy wearing clothes that are ridiculously unsuitable for the British climate?”

“Er…Yeah… like I said, I am British!”

“You sir are a racist!!…You are also what is known as a  ”fat bastard”, therefore we of the Border Enforcement Agency have to include you in our stop and search procedures to ensure that we have a broad spectrum of “stops” that reflects fairly on the local population”

The conversation is ludicrous…it would be equally ludicrous if the Border Agents stopped tall  people, small midgets and people with ginger hair

That really would have been a waste of taxpayers money but when have the Leftist’s ever worried about spending my money on things that I have no interest in, like making sure Ethiopian one legged lesbians can access all the benefits they are entitled to regardless of the fact that every year old people in this country, old people that have paid in to the system all their lives have to do  without so that new arrivals get everything they may require free of fooking charge!!

I think the Socialist Worker types have all crawled out of the woodwork on this one because they dislike the fact that the Border Control Agency seems to be finally doing its job!

The Equality and Human Rights Commission said it would examine the powers used by the Border Control Agency and their “justification” in using them, well I can tell the Equality and Human Rights Commission what the justification was and is right here and now…

The country is flooded with “people of colour” that have absolutely no business here, flooded by people of colour that do not even like us the indigenous and happily settled historical migrants, flooded by people of colour that would have the “whip hand” over us all and mold our nation into something that they would feel more comfortable in…i.e a shrapnel scarred Shit heap!

And when I say “us” I am not saying white…I am saying British.

Britons could be from anywhere in the Commonwealth but at some point their ancestors were invited over here  and they have integrated and settled down into the British way of life, what we are seeing now are waves of immigrants arriving in Great Britain with no intention of ever integrating and becoming part of our “Mongrel Nation, no a great percentage of new arrivals simply want as much as they can get their hands on so that they can breed like rats and eventually take over.

And that last statement can be taken however people want to take it, I don’t really care, multiculturalism has failed and it has failed on an epic scale.

Tell me what benefits Fundamental Islam, indigenous African culture or Roma Gypsies have brought to Britain?

Tell me in simple terms that I as an average everyday bloke can understand because I don’t see it! How do I benefit from mass immigration???

Do I benefit from the Afghan and Iraqi Asylum seekers that mooch around in gangs?

Do I benefit from having my pockets picked by Roma Gypsies?

Do I enjoy watching Somalians spitting and fighting?

As for Fundamental Islam the list of offences it brings to the UK is so long that I will not even attempt to document the  articles of discomfort that it foists on  Great Britain, in my opinion Islam is completely at odds with the modern world that the indigenous peoples of Britain aspire to, therefore it has no place in the UK but unfortunately it isn’t that simple because Islam would have the UK in its own image and back to  the Stone Age as it seeks to mold everything into an image that it can relate to, its a virus…and not a very nice one at that!talban

And this is why the Border Control Agency has been sent out on a seek and destroy mission by the Home Office….The vast majority of Britons are sick to the back teeth of what unfettered immigration has brought to the UK over the last 15 years and whilst the indigenous Brits are still in control the Government will have to listen and take action…Or they will be voted out.

And so they are finally taking action on  illegal immigrants living and working in the UK and people are “liking it”, this simple truth may really upset those that would have Britain reduced down and brought low and it many have them whining like stabbed pigs but the simple truth of it is this…

I apologise to those people whose grand-parents arrived after the war to live and work in the UK but unfortunately if you are black or a person of colour the odds on you being an illegal immigrant are far higher than if you are white, this is because Britain is part of the EU and the EU has no indigenous races that are “black” and very few that are of “colour”, therefore if you look like Haili Gebresellesi or Osama Bin Laden it is quite possible that you are here illegally because members of the EU who are best described as white for the most part have freedom to travel and work anywhere in the EU. So, it would be a waste of effort and time AND THEREFORE MONEY to stop people that do not best fit this racial profiling…

Yeah it sucks balls if you are an illegal immigrant and you have just spent your life savings to get to the UK so that you get free everything in four different names and send money home to import even more unemployment, disease and disharmony into the UK…

But this is MY country and we will do things how we see fit, so tough shit pal…get the fook over it!

Arrest over mosque blast tattoo seen at Birmingham EDL rally

And if the leftists think everything is against them, the chap seen with the mosque bomb tattoo has been arrested, its quite pathetic considering mosque bombbut I suppose he will be chosen as the fatted calf to appease the Muslims and lefties and prove that the the British  are not institutionally racist…I expect he will do a month or two inside…

Maybe he will convert to Islam whilst in the nick, lots of British prisoners convert to Islam so that they get better meals and more time out of their cells, which begs the questions ” How is that fair?” and ” Why do Muslims get preferential treatment in prison”



Killer dog owners could face life…

There are very few outright aggressive dogs, in fact the most aggressive dogs that I have ever come across are probably Jack Russel’s and Yorkshire Terriers, as dog breed go I think they are both vile. They are however lacking the firepower to do any real harm to an adult.

I have owned two so-called killer dogs…Both Staffordshire Bull Terriers…Both as soft as Shite!IMG_0327 (640x428)IMG_8844

It is not the dogs that are the problem, it is the owners, reinstate the dog licence at £1000.00 with the owner held responsible for anything and everything the dog does and see the problem disappear, simply threatening jail is no good…there needs to be a cash bar to prevent chav scum getting hold of a canine weapon in the first place.

As I have said, It is not the dogs that are the problem it is the dumb-ass owners… The change in sentencing powers is a good move but only part of the solution.


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