Lee Swords Fishing

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November “Fishing Blog” part two

Tackle2fish shuts up shop and I am gutted!!

I liked tackle2fish, the shop was well stocked and the lads were always polite and willing to offer help to those that asked for it unlike Bennet’s of Sheffield that had it all and lost it because they had zero front of house skills and the mindset of a dinosaur. Unfortunately both have now gone to the wall along with the likes of Callcott’s, Stamfords, Swale Angling and a host of “front room” type premises that used to dot every estate in Sheffield and I suppose the country as a whole.

Fishing has changed and the retail market that serves fishing has changed, in fact life as a whole has changed over the last twenty years.

The internet has altered how we shop and spend our monies, the emergence of the commercial fishery has changed how we fish and how many people think about fishing. Expectations have changed a lot, no longer are we happy to fish a muddy ditch or semi polluted river with the expectation of catching nothing but a cold, now many anglers fish muddy ditches with the expectation of catching more fish in five hours than many people ever caught in a lifetime of angling.

The whole mindset of angling  has changed and I don’t see a way back.

What I would like to see however is the sale of fishing licences taken back to some shops and the sale of “venue specific pellets” stopped so that anglers have to go into their local stores to get their bait and hopefully spend a few quid on bits and bobs whilst they are there.


My good mate Matt Brown posted up a clip of this girl of Facebook a few weeks previous singing an old Janice Joplin cover and I was struck at how good her vocals are, she has a unique look and style and isn’t one of these regurgitated mass produced piles of shite that Simon Cowell and Louise Walsh seem to think the population cannot survive without.

In this clip Masha  is singing a cover of Miley Cyrus’s recent hit “Wrecking ball”, the major difference however is that Masha lets her singing do the work rather than her tits and arse and unlike Miley, Masha , doesn’t look like a meth addled crack-whore giraffe trying to rip marula fruit from the tree with a protrusile tongue the length of a small babies arm. Anyway less of the chit -chat go and have a gander at Masha, I hope the girl makes it, she has talent.

Haven Fishery

After hearing that tackle2fish had closed down the last thing I wanted to find out was that Haven Fishery was going to go syndicate because the owners are sick to death of dickhead carp angers leaving crap everywhere and getting drunk on the bank…What is it with anglers that leave litter> Are they so fucking retarded that they don’t see whatLee swords cartoon20 they are doing is an absolute offence to everyone else and an abomination to anyone that actually loves the environment?

The last thing I want to see when I go fishing is crap left by the fisherman that was in the swim previous to myself, the most I want to see are footprints and maybe the odd hole left by a bank-stick,shit! anything else is a strict no-no!

Its isn’t kosher!

And so I can understand why the decision has been made at Haven, I just hope that I will be allowed to fish the place on occasion as I find it to be a cracking little venue with plenty of good fish to go for, especially the Ide IMG_7624which grow to record shaking proportions.

My mate Danny Johnson had one of the big ones that cruise around the venue this last summer which he had thought would shatter the British record it was only when he got it into the net he discovered that it was in fact a grass carp and not an Ide he had been playing.

I think deep down, he was a bit gutted.


Firoozeh Bazrafka

Danish-Iranian artist Firoozeh Bazrafkan is my type of bird, she has dark hair and a big nose and isn’t afraid to say what she thinks, I like that trait in people. I would always hope that if I was in the position of the people portrayed in the children’s story The Emperors New Clothes where he walks down the street stark bollock naked, I would be the one with the guts to say ” Oy, silly bastard…I can see your cock…get some clothes on you soft twat” or words to that effect, I believe that  Firoozeh would do the same unfortunately some people don’t like it when others speak the truth and so she was handed a 5,000 kroner fine recently when the Western High Court of Denmark found her guilty of racism.

She was charged by Aarhus Police of violating anti-racism legislation, after publishing a blog entry in Jyllands-Posten newspaper in December 2011, in which she stated:

“I am very convinced that Muslim men around the world rape, abuse and kill their daughters. This is, according to my understanding as a Danish-Iranian, due to a defective and inhumane culture – if you can even call it a culture at all. But you can say, I think, that it is a defective and inhumane religion whose textbook, the Koran, is more immoral, deplorable and crazy than manuals of the two other global religions combined.”

This sets a whole new precedent as religion has nothing to do with “race” so how can a person be charged with racism when they have cast valid  points regarding a religion that is probably the most intolerant doctrine ever contrived by humankind.


Asked what she thought of Danish justice she came up with a fantastic answer…

” I think it is fucked”

I think that I agree with her, Danish justice is fucked, my only regret is that I cannot afford to pay her fine for her.


The “Weather”

The next time I hear somebody say that we are going to get some cold weather and the wind is going to get a bit…windy, I think I will scream!

It is November! It is winter, it is supposed to be cold!cartoon 21

For crying out loud get a fucking grip of yourselves, buy a frigging big coat invest in some sensible footwear and stick a hat on your chuffing head!

How the hell do you think the Inuits get on in -50 degrees? Do you think they start whining like stabbed pigs? No they put a bit of seal fat in the lamp and chow down on a bit of muktuk ( dried skin and blubber) before indulging in a little bit of wife-swapping.

We have a lot to learn from the Inuits!

River conditions

Ok, I accept the moans and groans about Top Barn Sunriseriver conditions this time of year because they are generally what I tend to class as “shit”, the leaves are coming off the trees and the water is cooling down fast but the temperature hasn’t bottomed out and the amount of crap in the water makes things very tricky to get along with.

For me there is nothing better than a good blow followed by a nice shower… Get all the leaves off the trees as fast as possible and washed away at top speed.

It’s my IMG_8004opinion that when leaves settle on the river bed they go sour and put the fish off feeding, they also clutter the gravel beds and basically make a nuisance of themselves, messing with rigs and playing hide and seek with your end tackle.

No, I don’t like leaves one bit, I am not too keen on twigs and grass either.

But in a few weeks they will all be gone and the rivers will be in top chub form so don’t be a big floppy dong and decide upon a a bit of barbel fishing till at least February because “that way madness lies” as they say in King Lear, either that or you have too much free time on your hands and a bit of a masochistic streak.Pike time!

Nope for me ( unless a weather window opens) this time of year belongs to chub, pike, perch and grayling in that order with a few trout stuck on the end just for the laugh!




One thing I will say is that if you are planning a fishing trip in icy and adverse conditions “be careful” and after you have been careful be “a bit more careful”. It is coming up to Christmas and that being the case the last thing any fisherpersons family needs is a payThe last word of the drowning man out on the life insurance.

Yes, you will be able to content yourself in the knowledge that the kids got the X-Box and the GTA mega pack upgrade and the wife/husband paid off the mortgage and are now living life high on the hog… but for me that would be scant consolation as I chased innumerable horrible bastards around the Rings of Hell with my baseball bat.

If I were to slip on some ice IMG_4085and suffer massive sub-cranial hemtoma that resulted in me shuffling off this mortal coil I would feel a little bit gutted as I still have numerous items left on my “bucket list”.

Ok, I accept that Sandra Bullock dressed as she was in “demolition man” is never likely to happen and neither is a three person party with Miranda Kerr, myself and the wife but a man can dream and it is these dreams that should drive us ever onward towards safer fishing practices.



The Sheffield riots that never happened

If you live in certain parts of Sheffield you will be aware of the City of Sanctuary status Sheffield enjoys and you will be aware that on November 4-6th there were some serious altercations involving Asian and Somali youths firing rockets at passers by and public transport on Abbydale Road and Darnall.

The Abbydale Road incident it seems resulted in no arrests but the Darnall one did get a robust police response…

I would like to know why very little of this has made the press?

Was it because those involved were not white? Has this entire incident been a “brownwashed” and the whole thing been swept under the hand made by forced child labour reproduction Persian rug?

I think it has… because if I had stood at the side of the road firing rockets at all the ethnics exiting the mosque whilst screaming obscenities I reckon I would have made the national news, things however were different and it was the ethnics firing the rockets at those stupid idiots that had been at work all day to pay the tax that funds the benefit system that makes this country the  fucking shit hole it is fast becoming!

The Welfare State is a safety net for those poor unfortunates that cannot make ends meet, it isn’t supposed to be a life style choice and it isn’t a fucking golden goose.

Unfortunately we Brits have been led to believe that the Welfare State is a divine right and this mentality has screwed the nation, time for a change.

Update on Bowden Houstead Field

The fire brigade still plan to build on this site…We still need to sign the planning objection form as this development is the thin end of the wedge.IMG_3121

Last week a short article appeared in the Sheffield Star and below is the transcript of the details I sent to the reporter covering it for the local paper, I believe I make valid points that should scupper the project but knowing Sheffield I very much doubt it.

I have sent you some pictures of the this so-call ex industrial site the first is of some orchids that grow on the boggy part of the site, the second is a Common Blue butterfly and is one of the 22 species I clocked on the site this year ( not counting day flying moths) and the third is a bumble bee. Bumblee bee numbers have collapsed and some species are on the verge of extinction, I don’t want to be the one to push them over the edge, do you ?
Anyway pictures aside and further to our conversation earlier I would like to ensure that you are aware that the proposed site has no current access to the sewerage system and even if the money was spent to connect this site to the local sewerage system, it does not have the capacity to cope with the extra input that would be generated therefore it is proposed that the site use “soak-aways”

This standard of “build” would therefore be excruciatingly expensive when compared to a more straightforward build and as SYFR receive a huge part of their budget via Sheffield Council Tax is it best practice to choose such an expensive site when cuts to services are being made in Sheffield almost weekly?
Why not choose a site that has adequate access to the sewerage system because I would like to know where this tainted water would actually soak away “to” as Car Brook is only a short distance away and this leads directly to the River Don, which is a much maligned and abused waterway that if it where situated in either the Scottish Borders or the southern counties of England would command massive rents as a trout and graying fishery hence the reason I took the Countryfile team to Salmon Pastures whereupon  I had an afternoons fishing with Matt Baker a year or so back before he went onto the Arena to do a little bit of Strictly Come Dancing ( Honestly )
If Car Brook gets regular small scale pollution incidents and these flow through into the Don catchment all of Sheffield and South Yorkshire loses, the wildlife is pressured further and we get a step closer to living in something that resembles the film Soylent Green rather than a so-called green city.
Sheffield has loads of brownfield sites ( look at Darnall, Manor, Catcliffe , Tinsley) where an eco-built fire station with a green roof and everything else that goes with it would be an absolute boon, something to be really proud of but if  SYFR as well as the Council press on and they desecrate what is a unique piece of habitat then Sheffield gains nothing and loses much.
As for the planning application, it is full of lies, half truths and underhanded deceptions, the environmental survey is a year old and was “farmed out” as the regular surveyors do not approve of this plan, the photographic evidence Bowden Houstead Field being an ex industrial site, these pictures are three years old and were taken when it was seconded as a depot for the heavy plant machinery used on the Parkway resurfacing project and the councils claims that the locals are enthusiastic and positive towards this development are nothing short of bare faced lies. sixty people attended the public meeting at short notice and nobody was positive excepting the “panel”.
This is a much used and loved wild flower meadow, it is home to a vast amount of flora and fauna and stands unique in the area. if we lose it we all lose.
Best regards
Lee Swords
I also contacted Clarence House and appealed to Prince Charles for help on the matter, its a long shot but I reckon one word from Prince Charles would put the mockers on it therefore it is worth the chance!
The local Councillors especially Jack Scott the confused Councillor for the Environment has now stated that he has nothing further to say to me ( That is because I am right and he knows it), I say confused because as he says in his penultimate email to me

Dear Lee,


I’m not sure there is anything further I can add to our previous exchange. Environmental considerations are a key concern of the planning committee, who, crudely, have to balance the needs of nature with the needs of the people of Handsworth and East / South Sheffie to have a fire station. You are aware of our planning policies about the restoration of land that is lost.

 I appreciate that you feel very strongly about this issue, but I’m also conscious of the need of my constituents to have a fire station nearby, so I can’t see it in black and white.

 I’ve replied all to this email, so that Cllr Law, who chairs the planning committee can be kept aware of your concerns.

The confusion I mentions comes in the middle section where he states

“I appreciate that you feel very strongly about this issue, but I’m also conscious of the need of my constituents to have a fire station nearby, so I can’t see it in black and white”

Actually the whole thing is totally black and white, his position within SCC is that of Councillor for the Environment therefore his loyalty should be to protecting the environment from unnecessary development and not balancing the needs of development of greenfield sites against the loss of habitat to our ever constricted flora and fauna.

If anyone wishes to have a chat with him on the subject here is his e-mail address but be gentle he seems a nice enough chap unfortunately like most of his Labour brethren within SCC he is a little bit “special”


Also, before I go, here is the link to the planning application, it takes five minutes to register and log in an objection, I believe that all decent anglers should log an objection to this proposal because it is developments just like this that set precedents that will in time destroy natural England and take our sport down the chute with it


And finally

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many thanks!!


Speak soon…Stay safe!!



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