Lee Swords Fishing

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April Blog… part two

Here is my April Blog part two…I haven’t been as active on the blogging front this month as I could have been, not because there was little to comment on, rather that I may make comments that I could possibly later regret!

So Margaret Thatcher is dead and buried, I must admit that I believe she was the greatest post war Prime Minister that the UK has had… unfortunately she was the ‘best’ of a long line of failures!

She had the chance to create a great and lasting legacy but she failed for the most part, her only real achievement being involved in the ending of the cold war.

Prime Minister Thatcher’s contributions to this victory were profound. Together with the firm vision of her close friend and American President Ronald Reagan, the inspiration of Pope John Paul II, and the determination of the oppressed peoples of Eastern Europe along with Mikhail Gorbachev of Russia, her courage and leadership were instrumental in defeating of Communism.

Unfortunately these same traits when placed up against the left-wing infiltrated  Unions of Britain ensured their death and the death of millions of jobs. And that is where it all went wrong and that is why we will now have a second Guy Fawkes day in the north of England  from now on.

The mines did not need to be closed across the board and the Steel Industry especially the Stainless Steel Industry should have been ring fenced, the technology behind it improved patented and the research into high tech steels expanded and patented.

Look at Graphene as an example…discovered in the UK university of Manchester  we have 200 plus patents on the stuff….China has over 2000 patents on it. Is it me or is something wrong there? And Steel making was treated in the same crap handed  lackadaisical manner, yes it can be made cheaply in the Third World but why should it be? Screw the third world, we need steel jobs in the UK,  Steel should be a national treasure and not something that is privately owned by Indians, Indians that will in my opinion simply get all the knowledge they require from the UK before shutting shop and transferring production abroad…To India.

Fisherman killed by beaver bite!!

A FISHERMAN has been bitten to death by a BEAVER as he tried to take the mangy animal’s photograph!

The man was at a lake in Belarus with two pals when they spotted a beaver on the side of a road, as they approached, the beast pounced and latched its enormous wood cutting teeth into the man’s thigh, severing an artery. And despite the best efforts of his friends, he bled to death at the scene in Lake Shestakov!!!

Bitten on the thigh …MY ARSE!!

You do not go messing about with beavers, beavers  have a serious set of gnashers and a fair old set of lips to boot! beavers need to be left to the experts!


Well when I first saw this story I thought it must be a joke, but blow me down and call me Gladys, it’s for real, well bloody hell! This is a new one on me,  talk about having the boot on the other foot! Getting bitten to death by a beaver is a catastrophic failure in technique and shows a complete lack of training on the part of the Beaver and the beavered! I have never in all my years of messing with beavers been bitten, why? Because I handle my beavers with care and respect and when I go about the business of beaver biting, I do it in a professional and controlled manner and can proudly claim that this fisherman has never severed a bloody artery whilst on the job, even when I have been doing my party piece of “humming the national anthem whilst signalling come hither” .

There are two rules to understand when  interacting with beavers

Rule 1. Never called them  ”hairy beavers”, it is correct that some beavers have more fur than other beavers and it is also true that some beavers are completely bald due to an over infestation of a Brazilian nematode called (h.waxitalloffii) one has to remember that at the end of the day when all is said and done beavers are sensitive creatures so leave this out of the conversation, don’t mention the size or prominence of their lips either…they don’t like it..but if you cannot keep your opinion to yourself and you do have to make a remark, stick to either “cute beaver” or “nice beaver”

Rule 2. If you want to get up close to a beaver and take its picture try getting it to drink some champagne first…it works a treat! The more champagne you can get it to drink the better the pictures will be. Trust me, it works and don’t try substituting champagne with fizzy wine any beaver worth its name will know the difference and disappear faster than an illegal immigrant in Dover.

Yep, it takes many years of practice to become a beaver Jedi, one has to understand the creatures  innermost workings before even contemplating calling oneself a master!

Anyway …that enough about beavers for now.







  Trout fishing and venue reports

I haven’t done much fishing of late what with a persistent case of man-flu and shitty weather but the session I had at Roxholme ticked all my boxes for a while and I heartily recommend anyone that likes to have their string pulled by a few fish in nice surrounding takes a visit to the place…but book first!!Roxholme Brownie


I was that impressed I gave the place a write up in my venue section which is something I will be doing more of over the next couple of weeks as the weather improves but I will say this from the off, the reviews will be honest and forthright rather than advertorials for open toilets. If I do a review, whether or not its an invite job or I pay my dues ( I paid at Roxholme) the review will be straight up, no crap!

Lee Swords witha Roxholme rainbow trout of 12lb 9oz


One place I do fancy going back to is Marsh Farm, it’s been a few years since my last trip darn sarf but this venue is one that is drawing me back!Big Crucian Carp Fishing Let’s hope the weather holds and we don’t get blizzards in May and who knows!!

I may bust my Crucian personal best before I get back onto the Trent in Mid June…the question will be “bolt rig” or “float?”…I think it will have to be float !!

pb crucian


Anyway I think that is enough from me for now, take care and tight lines but remember boys and girls the rivers are shut and if the Pon’s and his EA boys catch you, the excuse of fishing for Shad will be of little use…its been tried by bigger and better.

Stick to the ponds and do yourself a favour!



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